We're so grateful to hear your story today, Cass. SHESeeks is all about inspiring and connecting women by sharing these incredible interviews. Every time I read one of your posts on Instagram, it resonates and really speaks to me. Tell us, what is She discovered?
I feel so honoured to be sharing with you this incredible space that is ‘SHE discovered’. In essence ‘SHE Discovered’ is the journey a woman takes in finding her true and authentic self. I have made it my life’s mission to help women move from a place of overwhelm, comparison, low self-esteem (all those things that hold her back) through the ‘SHE” journey (Strength, Healing and Empowerment) to discovering her true worth where she confidently and magnetically lives in the light that she was created to walk in.
Unknowingly we hold so many limiting-beliefs within our subconscious and this heavily impacts the way we show up in the world. We filter our entire lives through these beliefs about who we are, what we are capable of and what we deserve. These beliefs show up in so many different ways and impact every aspect of our lives i.e. health, finances, work and relationships.
The SHE Discovered journey has three keys stages;
- Discovering Her Strength – Helping her to find safety, stability, clarity and understanding.
- Healing – In essence, bringing attention to her limiting beliefs.
- What are they? When/where were they established
- Providing a safe / trauma informed space where she can connect with herself and release the pain and emotion that has become stuck in her nervous system
- Replacing the negative self narrative and re-discovering her true and authentic voice which leads to a regaining of trust within herself .
- Empowerment – It’s about reconnecting her into the world with that newfound empowerment and strength.
- It’s helping her discover what the next right step is for her?
- How does she step into all that she was created for?
That’s such a powerful process and journey, can you give us a little background and tell us why she discovered was created?
She discovered started in my mind in some kind of form about five years ago. At the time, I was suffering with my own complex trauma. I’ve suffered much throughout my life, but it all kind of came to a head when my husband disclosed his pornography addiction that he’d had for 10 years. Up until that point in my mind we were the ‘picture perfect’ couple. He was my world and I held him on such a pedestal, it has never entered my mind that he would struggle with an addiction, especially of this kind.
The moment he disclosed it felt like my entire world came crumbling down and the world would not stop spinning. His pornography use called into question my worth and it almost destroyed me. I found myself in a space where I felt completely broken while still trying to function as a mum to my 3 young children. I felt so incredibly alone.
Weeks before this all came to light, I was at a prayer weekend with some women in the church and I had a sense that something big was coming. At the time I thought it was regarding my leadership within the church, not my own personal life, family or marriage.
During this weekend I had three very distinct images come to my mind, which I absolutely believe was a gift from God.
The first image, I was walking in pitch darkness. The way that I framed it and understand it to this day, is that Jesus had his arms around me, and he was pushing away the darkness.
The second image, I was standing on desert-like sand. Again, Jesus was around me and was holding me while the ground around me completely fell away. With that image I had the sense of this wording “when all else fails, still I will remain”.
The third image was walking into a big room with a long table that was just full of incredibly beautiful things, the table was set for a queen. Stark white table cloth, a beautiful big chandelier lighting up the room. Imagine the most peaceful yet elegant space and that was the room. It felt like a picture of abundance and grace.
These images were so prominent in my mind that as soon as I got home I had to draw them on a piece of paper. *** Obviously artistry is not really my thing. But I knew they would be important for me in the journey forward.
The first two images I was able to place, as it was clear when a couple of weeks later, my husband disclosed the addiction and my entire world fell apart. So, for me it made sense that through my faith, Jesus was saying to me, that yep, I’m with you, I have you and you’re okay. But, I could never place or understand the third image of the dining room with abundance and grace.
About a week or two after my husband’s disclosure, I was speaking with my sister about what I was going to do, should I stay or leave? And she said to me, Cassi, you know you need to stay …” which again, I knew was also right in my heart. And then she said, “…in years to come, you will use this for good. Your journey will enable you to support other women who find themselves in a similar space. You can’t see it now, but you are going to do something incredible with the journey that you’re taking.”
At that point, I couldn’t see past my own pain and my own stuff, but it just sat there in the background niggling away. The more of my own healing journey that I did, the more that it niggled away. And then came the revelation of the table of abundance. I was sitting down at breakfast with my husband, and we were just talking it through. It was right there in that moment that the image of the table was never meant for me, but rather would be a space for women to come and discover their worth. Despite all the pain, she will rise. She is valued, she is loved and she is MORE THAN ENOUGH! SHE Discovered…
That’s a strong ‘why’. I think sometimes people struggle with knowing their ‘why’. But you know exactly why you’re doing what you’re doing. So now that you had a beautiful and important concept, how did you launch a business?
Launching the business, I found it intimidating and terrifying. But, I have an amazing friend that quietly came alongside me and encouraged me to just start. Stop waiting for everything to be perfect and just start. The moment I stepped through that first struggle of starting the doors just continued to open.
I guess that in itself, was enough for me to let go of my own limiting beliefs and trust the process. I started to train myself up and make sure that I had the right certifications behind me. I had been a minister within the salvation army for 10 years, and with that comes a variety of training in just working through life with people. But I was particularly interested in that crisis moment of, you know, when the whole world, your world is spinning in chaos. So I thought long and hard about what woman need when they are in that kind of space.
Looking at my own journey and what I needed, I felt there was something missing. It’s not life coaching, it’s not counselling or therapy. It’s kind of a mixture of both. And so I became a certified root cause therapist, a healing modality which helps a client release the stuck emotions and limiting beliefs that were created through past traumas in their life.
So, through my own experience and further training, SHE Discovered is ultimately a space of refuge, it’s a space where there is no judgement, just acceptance, empathy and a genuine desire to see someone move out of the shadows of their life and step into their truest light and into the more they were created for.
What would you say was the most challenging part of that for you?
Just getting out of my own way and, and having the confidence to do it. Launching my own business was never a part of the plan, it was never a part of my dream. But, it’s just been a process of a door being slightly opened and me just accepting that and being willing to step through and trust the process. So it wasincredibly scary, there were many instances where I’ve felt like I need to be more. I need to have more knowledge. I need to have more certifications behind me, I need to have more experience in business. But I kind of just let go of that and went back to the why and trusted the whole reasoning behind it. And the fact that I saw such a need for it.
Truth is, we can’t experience inner growth without a challenge first. Our growth is on the other side of our fear. When you’re in it it feels terrible and uncertain and often feels chaos or like it’s all falling apart, but actually that very moment right there is providing an opportunity for something new to burst forth and incredible growth.
Wow, I think that is so brave to work through those fears and challenges and launch a business to help others. What does it look like now, what services are you providing?
1. I offer 1:1 Women’s Empowerment session, which are based around the 3 stage process of Strength, Healing and Empowerment.
2. Group Online Coaching sessions will be available from February 2022 and;
3. Watch this space for more details on the upcoming ‘SHE Discovered Experience’ a day workshop for Women – February 20th 2022
Do you have any future plans for She discovered?
I think ultimately the long-term dream for ‘SHE Discovered’ is that it would become a community of like minded women supporting each other. A space where women can just come and know that they can be exactly who they are and there’s no judgment, to get the support and understanding they need. Ultimately, being able to create that space and then to have other businesses come alongside so that SHE Discovered is just one step in the journey. Whether that be connecting with someone in the personal training industry, Nutrition, beauty or other modalities but all spaces that will continue to speak into and support women in this thing we call life. Basically creating a launch pad for women to step into their own empowerment and magnetic energy
I am wondering since it’s where it all began, how is your relationship with your husband now?
In that initial moment, I felt like I had lost everything. But we were determined to fight for our marriage and to see it through. I searched high and low to find people with a similar story. I wanted a story of hope, that a couple had survived what we were going through.
Our journey has been a really difficult one. We’ve had to both get very honest and vulnerable with each other. We have both had to do our own individual journeys of healing our own baggage first and discovery of who we are as individuals. I have witnessed an incredible transformation within my husband over the last five years. I am incredibly grateful for the very real and honest marriage we now have. It wasn’t an easy journey and we absolutely still have our moments (every marriage does) but we are committed to each other, we are very open with our boundaries and every day we make a choice to continue to love.
I would not be the person I am today without going through such pain and such trauma, and then having to find the strength to rebuild.
The journey has made your marriage stronger, it’s so lovely to hear that.
Yes, absolutely. I was almost living in the shadow of my husband for 10 years. It was like I put him up on a pedestal, and just never felt like I could be good enough or reach the level that he was at. Then within our story, I came to realise that I have such incredible worth and value just as I am, just because I am me. I am more than a wife, I am more than a mum… I’m not defined by anybody else.
So many women, through whatever reason, find and feel like they’re not good enough. So, I feel as though the mission of She Discovered is about helping women to realize actually she is worthy, no matter what else is going on around her, no matter what else other people are saying or thinking or doing. She is strong and has a fire and light within her that the world needs her to shine
Such an important message to share! Are there any podcasts or books that you listen to or have read that have inspired you?
Brene Brown, massive influence. Jaemin Frazer has some incredible and life changing thoughts around limiting beliefs and insecurities. As a Christian, I have a deep faith, there are many devotionals that I worked through, one that I particularly love is called ‘Jesus calling’. For me, I find that no matter what is going on, I can connect to it and feel like it’s speaking directly to me.
One more question that has sprung to my mind. What if there’s something that has been a trauma, but it’s sort of been forgotten. Does root cause therapy allow you to remember it again?
Root cause therapy is an incredibly powerful therapy. It focuses on tapping into your subconscious. We live 20% in our conscious mind, 80% in the subconscious. It’s like when you’re driving a car and you’ve tapped out for a minute and then you’re like, “…oh, I don’t even remember driving.” The subconscious has kicked in and taken over. And so, a lot of our trauma , emotions and our limiting beliefs are stored in that subconscious. Our body always holds them, and we may not even realise that they’re there. Root cause therapy is a safe meditation space. It’s not hypnosis, you’re always in control, but you are in a relaxed mindset where you can connect with your subconscious mind. Your subconscious will bring to mind memories and/or emotions that are stored in your body, even if your conscious mind doesn’t remember. From this point we are able to release the emotion and look at the event from a different perspective allowing us to heal and gain new insights and understanding. The emotions are key because that’s what is stuck within the body. Every time you have that similar emotion, your body is triggered to respond in the same way. If it’s fear, your body is telling you that you are not okay, and you’ll want to run. We sit with these emotions in the session and understand where you’re feeling them in your body. We then work on releasing them. . It’s a very powerful feeling.
Thank you so much Cassi for the insight into your incredible journey. For anyone wanting to do this kind of journey, you're the perfect person to do this with because you're just so warm, nurturing and non-judgmental. They'd be in good hands with you!